Five pragmatic tools to become a nonanxious presence: Tips and tricks for being a mindful counselor

Originally published by Counseling Today. Click here for original post.

One of the most uplifting and powerful things counselors can do for their clients is to become a “nonanxious presence.” The term, originally coined by Jewish Rabbi and family therapist Edwin Friedman, is used to describe an individual who provides a calm, cool, focused and collected environment that empowers others to be relaxed.

This can be especially helpful for clients who have varying levels of anxiety, are in crisis or share information that could be traumatizing. By being a nonanxious presence, the counselor can model emotional regulation and invite clients to see that there is more than the anxiety or other feelings they may be experiencing.

As a counselor-in-training and certified empowerment coach, here are the five pragmatic tools that I use in my own practice.

1) Don’t buy in to the story; it only makes your client a victim.

Everyone has a story about life. They use this story to determine who they are, where they are from, who they hope to become and all the difficulties they have overcome. As counselors, we must acknowledge the stories our clients share and the significance they assign to these stories. However, we must further consider how clients may use these stories to limit themselves and give up control in their l